BY: MR RUMSEY’S FILM RELATED MUSINGS
NINE MONTHS
SHITFEST – Nine Months
I did not plan on seeing this movie. It just so happened to be on TV one evening, I stumbled across it, and was instantly transfixed by how God awful it was. Hugh Grant plays a child psychologist who doesn’t fare well around children, which is pretty stupid as a character trait, and is unfunny as joke in the film – but anyway, he then finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant, and has to try and grow up over the course of the film. This set up allows the movie to bounce around between gross displays of schmaltzy melodrama, farcical slapstick, and preachy lessons in family values. On top of this mix we have Hugh Grant at his most sickening and unconvincing – and I’m someone who actually enjoys him in films like Notting Hill. By the point Robin Williams turns up and thoroughly embarrasses himself I didn’t think I could stand it any longer, but then the film delivered its killer blow. I arrived a little late to this film and so wasn’t prepared for the fact that Grant’s wife was played by none other than Julianne Moore – my all-time favourite actress.
After the shock of seeing Moore in this film, and the even greater shock of seeing her be far from convincing in it, I realised that I had to see this one through to the end just to see if there is anything redeemable in it. There isn’t. The humour in this film is so incredibly badly handled; it falls flat 99% of the time and significantly undercuts what should be emotionally resonant scenes. Also, the climax to this film is excruciatingly painful to witness. It’s disturbing to see actors like Robin Williams and Julianne Moore being thrown into a scene that is so chaotic, badly scripted, and unfunny that it genuinely physically hurt to see it happen.
I hate to include a film that stars my favourite actress into Shitfest – but this one deserves it. Horrendously two dimensional characters, a weak script, and poor attempts at humour make Nine Months undoubtedly one to skip.
